2006-10-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

i'm so sick of this...

he hasnt sent me an email since tuesday.. i'm so silly...

i have somebody that loves me soo much but yet i choose to let myself suffer...

i want him so bad.

but i;m not gonna appear sad to him...

2006-10-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

i have to act as if i dun care... as if nothing's wrong.. i dun wanna show him how desperate i am...

i dun wanna be that obsessed freak...

i wanna be understanding... how can i be so selfish...

URGH.

2006-10-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so sick rite now...

he chose her over me...

he ever said that he'll come whenever i need him... lies.

how silly can i be?

To trust him... we were never meant to be together... it was just a dream..

i've now awoken... things are going to be the same again...

i forgot how its like to be hurt again...

it sucks...

i love him...

i want him...

i miss him..

i need him.

Why... we shouldnn't have even started... we couldnt be together 3 years ago... wat makes me think we cant now...

everything happens for a reason...
please.. make it stop...

"thank you for the past week... but i think u deserve more than a underground relationship..."

why diidnt i realise it earlier... i'm always the one to make the first move... wth.

how silly can i be. to trust his words when i noe what kind of guy he is... for a moment i actually thought he meant it... i hate myself for everything i felt for him...

& it's SOO hard when you talk about her...
because then i know
it's not me you're thinking about
when you're smiling
& it's not me on you're mind when you dream,
it's her. she's so perfect.
how could i be good as her, ever?

Maybe we just broke up cause it wasn't meant to be.
Maybe we weren't meant for each other.
Maybe we just weren't meant to be more than friends.
I'll accept that. Because love is unpredictable,
Whatever happens happens

You're always going to mean the world to me.
I know you're the right one for me.
I just wish it was the right time for us.
I can't wait until love comes back to us

I saw it the first time
I laid eyes on him. I don't think
I knew it then, but I guess I was falling in love.

i like him. i really really like him
but im afraid that if one day ill get him
that ill lose him. and that, i just cant handle it

its so hard for her --
everytime she hears your name
she can't help but want to cry

SOMETiMES ..
no matter how long or how hard
you`ve loved someone ..
they`ll never love you back.
& no matter how much it hurts
you`ll have to be okay with that..

&& when I saw you,
I was trying to remember how to breathe…
it wasn't working so well

If I looked you straight in the eyes
& told you I wanted to be with you,
would you kiss me or walk away?

he turned around & looked right at me ... and
said nothing.. not even 'hi'. it was as if the times
we had spent together ;; the times i spent loving
him just were not important. as if they had never
even happened.

i dont want to put this off
i want to look into your eyes
and feel your warm embrace
and make the most
of what we have

then everything comes back to you
the memories, the laughs, the i love you's
and you want nothing more
to share all those with him again

even though i've "stopped liking you,"
every time someone says your name,
my head turns right towards them.
it's like everytime i hear it, i think of
all we could have had and all that
could have happened... that didn't

I try to smile when I see other girls with you.
I act like everything is okay, but you don't
know how it feels to be so in love
with someone who doesn't even care.

he was something worth tripping over;
I just didn't know I would fall so hard

all she really wants is someone who will catch her when she falls
someone to realize her worth & hold her hand for no reason
but the fact that they like the way it fits with theirs, someone
who will sit with her under the stars, kiss her in the pouring rain,
look into her eyes & say "you`re the one i`ve been waiting for"

I want a boy,
who tells me he can't stop thinking about me.
Who sings to me, even if he can't.
And who could break my heart,
but would never dream of it.

&& he confuses me soo much.
It`s like one day he completley ignores me,
&& the next he smiles at me && I can't get
home out of my head again.

i hate you, i love you,
i'm depressed, i'm happy.
my emotions. . . .
you've messed them up.

she'll never be good enough
&& she needs to give up.
&& everyday she puts on a fake smile,
and pretends she's okay

can we even be friends anymore? i'm so sick of this... i want him so bad... but i noe i'm not the one he loves... he keeps saying things to keep my hopes high...

"you think i dont know? dun underestimate me. i can read all the signs.. feel like msging me but afraid of him by my side? wat about emails? u wouldnt even send me one if i hadn't send u one."

if only i controlled myself... if only... if only...

turn up the music, baby.
maybe it can silence the lies.

i don't ever want this to go away

i wasn't prepared for this

if he can cheat with you...
he can cheat on you.

sometimes I feel like things are never gonna change; but then I look back and realize they'll never be the same

promise me. thats all i want. just a promise that you will never forget me. tell me i changed you somehow. let me know that i had an impact on your life. promise me that you'll always remember me.

"do you just want to be friends?"
it was like one of those long, deep
cracks that splinter through the
perfect ice over a pond. it cut right
through my heart.

sometimes we put up walls,
not too keep people out,
but too see who cares enough
to knock them down.

There's so many things I have to say
I'll stay up all night to hear about your day

i admit.. i was holding back... it hurts to see how much he loved her... openly... he can let the world noe he loves her... but not me... i brought this upon myself...

i wan him to regret.

This is how a heart breaks